Moving on and forgetting letting go
of what I thought I truly wanted realizing that happiness is more important
than the unlikely fulfillment of false hopes never was worth it to wait and
hope never was worth it to deal with all the heartache hard to see at first so
clear now easier to see
fog lifted
no smog
poisonous fumes in the air clouding mind obfuscating heart
foolishness should have known before no good could come from that from
insecurity from distrust from lies and deception never believing not knowing
how long my name would even be remembered kept going back still don’t know why
never wanted always returned pestering gadfly lonely moon
confess heart broke once
forgive heart broke twice
again heart broke thrice
hot chocolate heart broke the last time
recovery must be chosen but it’s a difficult choice to make
to say that I never want this no matter what to fall back blindly into the
unknown abyss that is a hopeless future in a hopeless world full of helpless
souls who cry out for help from one another and often those calls go unanswered
no Sex and the City dreams just cold harsh reality that
sometime things don’t work out what you want there is no storybook ending maybe
not even a beginning never took off four books only twelve pages among them
shared no plot only pathetic
time to keep moving
don’t look back
fullsteamahead
choice is made have to follow through find the light find
the help find what is needed not what is wanted hopefully the same thing but
who knows happiness have to have it happiness for once happiness and joy trump
card to lonely nights and crying fits trading known for unknown when known is a
lost cause is a never-ending cycle of hope and hopelessness
mountains and chasms climbing only to fall to emotional
death bleeding heart poisonous touch poisonous plants poisonous people all the
same stare at from afar never touch or consume fated to wilt and wither away to
dirt once more enticing deadly
let the nightshade die
be happy tonight
Explanation: This camera eye describes making the conscious decision to move on from someone who I had mad multiple attempts to pursue a relationship. Although it was something I originally wanted the endless ups and down did nothing but fill my life with sadness and insecurity. It was hard to accept that sometimes things just don't work out like we want, but once I finally decided to give up on the possibility of anything existing there, my life became much more enjoyable.
I like how there's no punctuation here, Billy. It helps to give me a sense of exactly how you feel. It creates a feeling of pushing forward, without a perception of what will be there and no end in sight. It also sets a really strong tone. Usually punctuation helps us to understand the inflection of a sentence, but without it, it is kind of monotone at points, demonstrating the heartbreak and difficulty of pushing past it.
ReplyDeleteThis is really good Billy, there is lots of powerful imagery that calls things to my mind. The use of poison as an image is especially effective, I think, because it makes the reader feel as if there is some kind of danger and that they are not safe. I really like the line " never wanted always returned pestering gadfly lonely moon" it almost has a poetic rhythm to it and it also evokes a powerful feeling of loneliness. I also like the mention of Sex and The City, because this is real life and things are not perfect.
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